Author's Notebook
by suspensegirlinc
Summary: the unpublished sketches, drabbles, snippets and the like of what may never be included in future stories and some of it that might...the side notes to my GG-fanfic writing - e.g. deleted scenes SOME M-rated
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Welcome to my notebook. This "fic" is essentially a place for you to see my little scratches, sketches & mental notes/mini-plot lines for possible future fics and just little driblets of stuff I don't think could be long enough to count as oneshots. I do "writing challenges" on where the community writes something GG on their own for one hour straight, and sometimes, I just don't feel inspired to write something from a multi-chap or something that could extend to a oneshot (at least 1,000 words – for me), so…I'm going to post those little snippets here. Some may eventually extend to oneshots or be slipped in as scenes for stories I'll write in the future. This is different from my "book of beginnings" fic because these are all too short to justify as 'decent' previews & not all of these will necessarily end up in a future fic of mine. There will be NOTHING here for the multi-chaps I'm currently writing. If you want spoilers for those, you have to PM me. This is just a chance for you to get inside my writer's head if you want to, and comment if you like. (None of these "scenes" are consecutive or related in any way)

*I do not own "Gossip Girl" or its characters and plotlines. No copyright infringement intended.

….

_"We can build our futures together."_

It was the second time he'd said it in the space of a few days, and this time she wanted to cry because now he knew everything. Dan had told him when Chuck's daunting figure had knocked on his door that the two of them – the Humphrey & the Waldorf – had no feelings between them more than simple friendship, and even that had become a little awkward, not to mention it looked extremely suspicious with them secretly sneaking around telling each other to stay away – from Chuck, Serena and Vanessa too. Dan had told Chuck that Blair had overheard the whole break-up between him and Raina, and the remake of Venice. She had heard him call Raina _sacred_, realizing their feelings were real, and dying every night because she was not the girl anymore that he wanted to be with.

Now she had no ammunition. No control or power. Chuck had heard it all and there had been time enough to let it sink in. The only thing she could do was walk away like before, but she was in her own home and he would likely follow her.

_She was going to kill Humphrey._

….

"Why won't you look at me?" she asked, her fingertips gently trying to coax his unyielding face in her direction. "You haven't looked at me all day," she continued, her hand moving onto his face, reaching up into his hair and digging through his chocolate locks.

Chuck pulled her hand away and it dropped numbly to her side. He turned his gaze to the glass of scotch sitting in his other hand.

"You shouldn't drink it," she said sweetly, resisting the urge to take it away from him.

It was just the incentive he needed to bring the glass to his lips and take a sip.

She fell into herself, shoulders slumped. The eerie empty silence seemed to sink upon them naturally. When the common phase became almost intolerable, she spoke up.

"It's because I'm not her, isn't it, Chuck?"

He took another drink.

"She's _dead_, Chuck," she suddenly said, fiercely.

His head pivoted in a flash towards her. There was a venom in his eyes that should have scared her. It was only because she'd seen it so often that it did not.

"She's not dead," he growled. "She's just…" he looked out into space as if the answer to his problem lay there.

Married to another man."

Annoyance, instead of the usual sympathy, etched across her face.

His eyes flashed to hers again, but he said nothing.

"And both of you are firmly grounded in the unbreakable rule of not cheating on your significant others."

He turned away from her again.

"For which I am grateful for…" she trailed off, wanting to touch him but knowing he would brush her off the second he felt her hand on him.

"She won't be your other woman, Chuck."

He looked at her. The sad remark made him feel guilt for what his wife was going through for the first time that evening.

"I don't have any other woman," he said. "Just like you said, I don't believe in cheating." He was almost snapping at her, but he couldn't seem to help it. The news of _Princess_ Blair announcing her pregnancy on live television had not sat well with him. He hadn't gotten that drunk in a long time.

"No," she acknowledged again, "you don't."

He nodded, feeling justified, and turned away again.

"Except with your heart."

He turned once again to face her.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, denying the fact fully that he knew _exactly_ what she was talking about, and that it was true.

She sighed and slightly shook her head.

"You don't think I know, Chuck?"

His brows furrowed as he watched her stand to her feet and look at him incredulously, as if he were playing sick when really h e just hadn't finished his homework for school.

"You don't think I _know_?" she asked again, anger now creeping into her voice. "I _know_. I know I'm not the one you think about every night when you're falling asleep or throughout the day when you're at work. I know that when we go for a ride in your limo sightseeing that it's not our moments that you're reminiscing but the ones you shared with her. I know that the days you crawl into your shell aren't because of what happened with your father anymore, but what happened with _her_."

"Hey!" He shot to his feet, stopping her mid-speech. "That's not true," he insisted.

"Isn't it?" she asked out of desperation.

"No," he said.

She shook her head again. "You have another woman, Chuck. It's me. _I'm_ the other woman. You're the guy who's regretted not fighting for the love of his life just because you thought it would make her happy."

"I loved her," he growled.

"You still do!" she shouted, fire burning in her eyes. Neither of them could look away. She was the first to let herself crumble, as always. "I used to believe you loved me and that someday I would understand and be able to help you just as she had. That then maybe that would be enough." She sighed.

"But I was just fooling myself, wasn't I?" She looked around at their room which she'd designed, and the bed where they'd made love, so long ago.

She looked back at his face, so crestfallen and guilty. "I was," she said. "You'll never get over Blair Waldorf."

She walked out of the room.

…

"Are you sure about this, B?"

She rolled her eyes with her wedding gown in hand pressed against her frame and turned towards her best friend.

"Please tell me you're not siding with Chuck now."

Serena sighed.

"Oh my God," she said in disbelief, turning back around to hang the wedding dress on the mirror.

Serena pursed her lips. "I just want you to make sure you're sure."

Blair brushed the comment off with a flip of her hand and moved past her best friend to the other side of the room.

"Louis is everything I've always wanted." She smiled tenderly. "And he loves me." She sighed happily. "My real-live Prince Charming."

Serena didn't ask Blair if she loved the prince in return.

"But he's not Chuck."

Blair huffed. "Chuck had a million chances with me and he blew all of them. I won't let him hurt me again."

"Maybe you should consider what _you'd_ be losing, not just what you think he deserves to lose."

"You don't think he _deserves_ this?" she asked incredulously.

"_Blair_."

She sighed and folded her arms across her chest. Her best friend's determined stare made her resign herself and dwell on the request.

"You'd be losing _Chuck_, Blair," Serena said before Blair could respond. "There would be no more chances for the two of you. None."

Blair flinched slightly. "Chuck's fine with it. He said he just wants me to be happy."

"And how long could you be happy, Blair? Really."

Blair parted her lips but Serena kept going.

"You've had a couple prince charmings in your life. Neither of them made you nearly as happy as you were when you were with Chuck."

Blair's teeth briefly ground against each other."

"Those two are hardly legitimate examples."

Serena raised her eyebrows.

"Nate was always a little bit in love with you, and Marcus only directed his sexual tendencies to his stepmother, who happened to also be sleeping with Nate. Louis is completely different."

Serena's eyes softened. "Your pure, simple love?"

"Yes!" Blair said, exasperated.

Serena closed the distance between them and squeezed her best friend's shoulders gently.

"I just want you to be sure, B."

The brunette's face didn't show as much confidence as she would have liked.

"I know you were hurt by Chuck moving on with Raina and everything that went on before that. But he never proposed to her. He wasn't even close to _thinking_ about it. The only person he's ever almost proposed to was you. And before Louis showed up, he was going to do it again."

Blair's eyes flashed to her best friend's from having looked away.

Serena was smiling sadly towards her.

"_What_?" she asked. She could barely breathe. Tears appeared in her eyes and then in her best friend's. Serena nodded slowly and then enfolded Blair in her arms. Her head curled into the curve of her neck.

"I just want you to be sure, B."

Blair sighed shakily against her.

….

She heard the _ding!_ announcing the arrival of someone new to her humble abode. She knew exactly who it was. Her mother was out. It was Dorota's day off, and Serena was out with Humphrey. With Nate still stuck in his family drama post-break up, she knew there was only one other person who could be arriving on her doorstep. Jenny was still on her not-so-nice list, even if all she'd done was tell the truth.

The atmosphere switched from the normal even temperature to a thick heat instantly. She felt his presence lounging against her doorframe and slowly turned around in her chair.

The lust she saw in his eyes was equivalent to an erupting volcano. The only reason she was able to breathe through it was because her own sexual appetite was radiating off her body in waves. She gathered they could stay as they were for hours and it would be just as intense as the sexual foreplay itself.

A slow calculating smirk slid onto her face, and she managed to turn back to her computer.

"Hello, Chuck."

She thought she heard him chuckle as he finally walked into her room and shut the door behind him. She heard the click of the lock and raised her eyes from the screen.

"No one's home," she said matter-of-factly.

She felt him move across the room, and then he was right behind her, gently grasping her shoulders. He lowered his head so they'd be at eye-level and whispered into her ear.

"Just in case."

She stilled and then slowly pushed her chair away from the desk just a little.

Chuck stepped away and watched as she stood to her feet and turned toward him. Just one more step and they'd be tasting each other's skin.

Her lips were on his not more than a second later, terrorizing his mouth as if it'd done some heinous crime. Her tongue twisted with his, and shivers ran through her the moments she felt his fingers in her curls and his arm around her back. She kissed him like her life depended on it, and gave a breathy moan when he pulled away suddenly.

"Bed or desk?" he asked huskily.

She was still trying to breathe."

"Right."

He kissed her hard again and then lifted her from her feet. Her legs instinctively wrapped around him and she hardly noticed when they landed on the bed, because her single goal was being closer to him, skin against skin, the very roughest, softest touch. She'd never felt this way with Nate. Chuck was her favorite secret. He intoxicated her.

….

He'd followed her into the bathroom with at least no initial intent on sexual intercourse, but the second he saw her doing her make-up in the mirror, applying more red lipstick, thicker seductive mascara and glimpsing at him every moment or two with that certain look in her eyes, he knew he was done for. He would have gone to lock the door, but he could not move.

"Come here," she said, turning fully around to look at him.

To anyone else she might have appeared the same as she had going into the bathroom, except a little freshened up, but to his keen eye there was a world of difference. Aside from the fact that her eyes had a sultry sparkle to them and her curves somehow appeared even more curvaceously delicious, a couple of the buttons at the top of her dressy shirt had been undone – fully for his benefit he was sure. _To hell whoever thought it was theirs._

He walked to her as smoothly as usual, but there was a jerk to his step when she started coming towards him. He stopped halfway across the room and watched her as she continued to come to him. He stared awed as she took his hand from where it hung at his side and placed it on her breast. He realized for the first time how thin the fabric of her shirt was, and how silky, much like her lingerie he was sure. Now, he ached to get inside her.

She was about to comment on how he seemed more in awe and timid than usual when his aggressive cockiness came back in a flash. She felt his hand closing more tightly on her breast and then suddenly she was flushed up against him with his other hand gripping her waist. She was nearly done for when she saw the fiery lust in his eyes that threatened to consume her.

She had one last trick.

She took the hand grasping her waist firmly and laid her own hand on it. Slowly, she guided it to the place between her legs where the skirt still covered. Even through the thicker material, she knew he could feel how wet she was.

"Oh…fuck," he shuddered in a low husky breath.

She smirked and rose up her skirt, shoving his hand into her oasis of secrets.

He groaned and plunged three fingers inside of her.

She felt droplets of sweat sprinkling onto her neck when he leaned his forehead against hers. By some miracle she managed to keep from falling.

"God damn it, Blair. Let me lock the fucking door," he rasped against her, biting her earlobe and nibbling at the skin across her collarbone, all the while pumping her and shivering as if he could hardly stand it.

"No one's stopping you," she whispered against his face, pressing hot steamy kisses along his jawline until she reached his full lips and took great advantage to keep him quiet.

He growled and hefted her up off her feet, releasing his hand from her inner places reluctantly. The feel of her legs wrapped around his waist however did not entirely cure his ability to walk to the door successfully and lock it. He made it within two steps and then Blair had to stop her wild kissing to lock the door herself.

The security they now had somehow gave him that second wind of fire. He pushed her up against the wall, right next to the door and shoved her skirt up, ripping her panties in a single tear and shoving down his pants to the floor.

Her intoxicating kisses were nearly the death of him, but he got the condom in place and he got her shirt off, needing to delay the urgent need to be inside her just a little longer so he could hold her breasts in his hands.

He was mesmerized by how beautiful and soft they looked nestled in their silk bra cups frilled with black lace. He could not tear his eyes away and was drawn ever further into her seductive claws when she slowly undid the bra herself and pushed her breasts together amidst ridding him of his own shirt and dangling his undone bow tie around her neck.

He devoured the soft to the touch globes with his lips and tongue and teeth. He buried his head between them, and gloried in the feel of her manicured fingernails drilling gently into his scalp. When he heard her sultrily pant his name…

"_Chuck_."

He raised his head and kissed her hard, raising her legs that had fallen once against around his waist and then thrusting inside her faster than he'd ever done before, until he was empty and spent and capable entirely of falling over.

"Don't drop me," she whispered mischievously into his ear as she smirked.

He lifted his gaze to her devilish eyes and kissed her again.

"Stop draining me then," he replied with an equally devilish smirk.

She was about to speak but he stopped her with another onslaught of feverish kisses. She was slammed once more against the wall and holding on feebly with what little strength she had left. When he started pumping once more in and out, in and out, slower this time – painfully slow – she more or less collapsed against him and screamed into the empty bathroom when she came, the sound smothered only by her teeth hard set on his shoulder, breaking the skin with her force.

He stifled a sharp groan of pain, still recovering from the second bout of spasms he'd wracked through both of their bodies in the last twenty minutes.

…

A/N: My installments will not always be this long. I was just away from my computer for a couple days and so couldn't go off of my previous multi-chap stories to continue them in any way. Hope you enjoyed. Here's where these ideas stemmed from:

**Snippet 1:** Based off 4x18 promo

**Snippet 2:** Future, based off Blair marrying Louis & how Chuck's been dealing with it…

**Snippet 3:** Based off spoilers from the rest of the season. Sometime between when Louis proposes and the end of the season.

**Snippet 4:** Sometime during CB's affair in S1 (1x08-1x10), a little steamy encounter in her room. ;p

**Snippet 5:** I was watching something that I don't even know what it was called…and CB came to mind. It happens all too often, I'm afraid. ;)


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: So glad you guys are enjoying these. Here are a couple more. These are basically all based off the new 4x18-4x22 promo, so I guess they're kind of all related, but not, if that makes sense.

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

….

Desperation rolled over him in waves. Things had gone too far too fast. He'd made yet another untimely mistake, but this time his greatest fear had been waiting for her before he could make amends. She'd found her real-life Prince Charming, and Chuck looked like the vicious ex-boyfriend who continuously wronged her and never stopped the accusations, even when he had no proof to go on. It was just how he was. He was jealous as hell when it came to Blair Waldorf.

Nate didn't understand how deep and powerful their connection – their love – ran. It wasn't normal, he'd said. Just pure love, plain and simple, Blair had told him she wanted. But their love was something he never forgot or denied, and she had decided to drop into both of those things. Because of it, he was running out of time. Engagement was entirely different than her trying to move on with some acceptable guy who more or less wouldn't satisfy. Chuck still knew for sure that he and Blair were meant to be, and that in essence Louis could never understand her the way _he_ could, but Louis could give her the one thing he couldn't – _royalty_, her fairytale wish come true.

…

"I know you saw Chuck. _Twice_."

Her face paled and then flushed. "He's going through a hard time right now, and he's my friend. I care about him."

"He's also your jealous ex-boyfriend who's still in love with you. He would try any—"

"_No_. He wouldn't do that."

_He wasn't Carter_, she thought. But she knew Louis wouldn't understand that.

"Why not? From what I've heard, it's not as if he's incapable of deceiving you like this."

She placed her hand on his own atop his knee. "Louis, no. What Chuck's going through right now is not something he would _ever_ fake."

Louis still looked uncertain, unconvinced.

She curled her fingers around his own.

"There's no one else he can go to for this type of thing. I'm the only one who understands him, and if I'm not there to stop him from…"

"Stop him from what?" He tensed.

She shook her head sadly. "Chuck's been to some pretty dark places in his life," she said very seriously. "At one point, he almost…" she stopped, feeling her momentous occasions with Chuck too precious to share. They hit too close to home. "It could have been bad," she finished instead.

His worried eyes penetrated into her own. She squeezed his hand tighter, bringing her other hand to the clasp.

"You have nothing to worry about," she said, cupping his face in her hand and running her fingers through his hair. "I'm with you, not him. I'm just being a good friend. That's all."

"And why could you not tell me this? What if we were to get engaged? You should to be able to tell me everything."

She went cold. Her hand dropped numbly into her lap. "_Engaged_?" she managed. She wondered if she was gasping for air. She could not focus on anything.

"Yes, Blair, engaged."

She tried to retain some composure and keep the tears from dripping onto her face, for whatever reason they might be there.

"Well, I would tell you then," she said, barely managing not to squeak.

His brows furrowed.

She gave him a reassuring smile. "No more secrets," she promised.

"No more secrets," he echoed.

She leaned in and kissed him. "You have nothing to worry about," she said again. "Chuck just needs me right now, for support."

"And what if he needs you when we are away in France together?"

Something like pain burned in her stomach. Louis was hinting more and more at a future engagement with her, and while that news should had made her overjoyed – which it _did_ – it also scared her to death.

"I've known Chuck my whole life, and we have a lot of history, even if we're not together like you and I are. You can't expect me to just cut him off, even if his feelings make you nervous."

He looked at her intensely for a long time, but then his eyes softened. "You're right," he said, leaning in and kissing her sweetly. "Forgive me. I'm afraid my possessive nature got the best of me."

She smiled. "It's alright. Chuck can be very intimidating, even for a royal prince like yourself. I'm sure you can make it up to me with some flowers and a diamond necklace – _bracelet_," she corrected quickly, as she stood to her feet and started across the room. Something about a diamond necklace just shook her straight to the core and sent her reeling towards the direction of her seventeenth birthday party.

"Roses?" he assumed, a smile now on his face.

Her heart pounded in her head, so fast she thought she'd drown. She'd _die_ from hearing her heart beat so fast.

_No. Peonies. Peonies. Peonies._

"Yes, of course, roses. They're my favorite."

She turned back around and smiled.

…

A/N: I've decided I'm going to try to update this once a week(ish), so that there will at least be a couple in here. Heh. I meant to write a few more for this last week, but it just didn't happen. Of course, the episodes are back on & I can't be writing a million oneshots for all of them, so you can expect more in the next update. XD

Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Some more! =D As in the first "chapter", I will tell you a bit of their 'origins' in the bottom author's note. ;p

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

…

The next morning he came to her fresh and ready. His eyes sparkled at the thought of seeing his engagement ring on her finger again. _Never take it_ off, he had said. _Chuck_, she'd replied, mind-boggled that he'd even had such a thought. The look in his eyes had been so serious though that she promised, and then her sweet eyes closed and she leaned in to kiss him.

He couldn't believe she'd dashed off for a "scenic route" down 5th avenue with Serena just after they'd finished eating breakfast the next morning. It was _him_, he was convinced, that deserved that glorious next day with her. But he pointed that out, she just giggled and said, _"we have the rest of our lives together. One morning won't kill you."_

But it had. Her pat on his cheek and sudden flight to the elevator didn't help either. If he didn't hold her in the next thirty seconds, he was going to lose it. He _needed_ to see that ring on her finger again. It was unbelievable how shocked he was when she'd actually said yes.

…

Her eyes narrowed again to that furious glare he had not seen for five minutes. She cursed whatever god might have allowed for this child to be born. He was an insult to nature and showed no sense of class or dignity. As a five-year-old, she felt it was her duty to be aware of these things and follow through with them, like a good little princess would do. But her patience was running thin.

She turned her head slowly around, so as not to appear out of control, and stared him down with her heavy glare. Much to her disappointment, he did not seem to be affected in the least. Instead, he just smiled. _He smiled! How infuriating. _

"Want me to do it again?" he taunted when she did not say anything for awhile.

Blair could not speak. Just barely holding in a wild puff of air, she stood to her feet and nearly fell over him when he yanked on one of her long braids again. He made some comment on how she shouldn't be wearing such high-heels for kindergarden, but she didn't listen to him.

"Serena!" she called across the room. The blonde was not hard to spot above the heads of all the other five and six year olds in the room. Relief flooded her face when she saw her. But she knew those devilish hazel orbs were staring her down as she took off her heels to run to her best friend across the room and tell her that the _Bass boy_ was bothering her again.

…

This was it. It was the last stop before he let her go forever. Rooftops had always been significant to him, especially when it came to Blair. He could not believe such significance would mark the end too.

"Blair."

His hand was outstretched toward her, and she turned to look at him. His fingers were just barely grazing her skin, but his gaze was so intense on the simple contact that could not let herself break away.

"Promise me…" he began so quietly she found it a miracle that she'd even heard him. "Promise me you'll save me a dance on your wedding day?" His eyes pleaded with her to say yes when their gazes locked again.

Blair was breathless. He was so serious, so genuine, and so completely heartbroken. It hurt her to look at him. No snide remark even followed his request, nothing about whether he was invited or not. He just assumed he would be allowed because they knew each other. She'd never intended that he wouldn't be invited, but it was still mature of him to not take the bait hanging out in front of his face.

"Yes," she said. She blinked and shook her head in a brief frenzy, ridding herself of the emotional spell she'd been put under. "I'm sure I can manage to fit you in," she teased.

He gave her a small smile and then let his hand fall back to his side.

"Thank you," he said, again so quietly she didn't know how she'd managed to hear it.

She smiled a little at first but as the seconds dragged on, she felt the tiny pinch of guilt inside her enlarge into a raging dark black hole. She shouldn't feel this way, she told herself. She'd made the right decision. He'd fought for her, but he'd been too late. He'd messed things up too many times. Now her fairytale was finally coming true and all she'd had to do was cut things off for good with Chuck. He'd be fine without her, and she'd certainly be able to stop loving him – well, as much as she was able, considering their history – eventually. Still, she couldn't help wondering now more than ever if she'd made the right choice.

She looked down at her ring and admired how it sparkled in the moonlight. Somehow though, despite the royalty attached to the gorgeous accessory, it didn't send her heart fluttering inside her like the brilliant diamond engagement ring Chuck had nearly given to her twice.

…

For a moment, just before they head back towards the discussion of her mother, she asks him something he somehow never expected her to.

"How's Chuck doing?"

He's in shock. The first thought that enters his mind is – does she still have feelings for him? But he nixes that almost immediately. Raina is more than happy to be away from Chuck. The relationship wasn't right for either of them. All of them – himself included – know that now. In fact, the only time now that Chuck brings up Raina is when he's pissed to hear she hasn't stopped looking for the mother that is dead by his own father's hand.

"Uh, he uh—he's fine, I guess."

She raises an eyebrow.

"He doesn't have a chip on his shoulder about us anymore, if that's what you're suggesting."

A breeze of relief drifts across her face and Nate is very glad that was the only thing that was bothering her.

"What about Blair?" she asks suddenly.

Another question he wasn't prepared for.

"Blair?" He plays dumb. He's good at that.

"Well, the night Chuck & I broke up, earlier Serena told me that Blair still had feelings for him. Have they gotten back together? Or…are they going to?"

He sighs now, because this is not something he wants to get into. He doesn't want to discuss Chuck and Blair with Raina because those two are so very complicated, more so together than apart, but on both planes. Sometimes he hates them together because of how they hurt each other. Sometimes he hates his best friend more than he thought he could hate anyone because of how much emotional pain he can cause his ex-girlfriend. More often than not though – the last year aside – he very much wants them together, because they've never been happier with anyone else, even if he likes to believe it's possible that they could be. No one understands them like they do each other. He shares this sentiment with Serena.

"Not right now," he tells her and hopes she doesn't have any more questions.

She gazes at him for awhile, clearly contemplating whether she should push the matter further, but then she just nods and his tensed up shoulders relax. He eases back into his chair.

"Well, I hope they do. There's a magnetism between the two of them, you know?" She looks up at him from her cup of coffee. She smiles softly. "When I first saw them together, I really wondered if there had ever been something there." She pauses, contemplating more. "Now that I'm not with Chuck – not blinded by whatever we had – it's obvious that there's still something there." She picks up her mug and takes a long drink. Then she purses her lips to get rid of the moisture. "It'd be a shame to waste it."

_They hardly waste it_, Nate wants to say, but he stops himself, because he can't let Raina get caught up in the madness that is Chuck and Blair, not when so much is already being hurled at her regarding the mystery of her mother and what that could mean for Chuck and the Basses as a whole, long-lasting family company included. Plus the estranged relationship she's now fallen into with her father. She doesn't need one more thing to add to it, especially when it would most likely just be a history lesson – a never-ending one.

So, he just smiles and when he catches her eye he knows the conversation is about to switch and he's grateful. The pained position he's in between Chuck and Raina is painful and frustrating currently, but it's a minor block in the road compared to the ins and outs of Chuck Bass & Blair Waldorf. That now feels like the biggest hurtle in the world.

He shakes himself and sits up in his seat, still smiling warmly at his girlfriend and waiting for her to continue. He closes the subject with one final remark.

"I'm sure they won't waste it. They're very careful with the things that matter to them."

Inside his head he's being screamed at because what he's just said isn't always what he's thought, but he ignores the shouting miraculously for the sake of his own sanity and Raina's potential confusion. And because sometimes he thinks it. Sometimes even he can see how if everything else were stripped away and they had to make a life-or-death decision, that Chuck and Blair would choose each other. At the end of the day, that's how it's always been. Nate knows that won't ever change.

….

When the door closed and the receding footsteps faded away, Dan turned around slowly at the sound of new footsteps approaching.

"_Intelligent_ & _intuitive_?" She raised her eyebrows, amused.

Dan was only slightly put off. "_Life-changing_ kiss?"

She rolled her eyes and moved past him to the window. "Don't get cocky, Humphrey. I couldn't give in to him immediately." She turned around, looking suddenly very sympahtetic. "You should have seen him when he came to me last week. He was so broken."

"You're kind of contradicting yourself, Blair."

She frowned and walked towards him, looking very determined and antagonizing now. It had the desired effect. Dan looked very intimidated.

"You shouldn't have thrown in his face the things that you did."

He looked confused.

"Intelligent and intuitive?" Her voice rose.

His eyes widened and his head reared back a little at her fierceness.

"You were overstepping your bounds, Humphrey. Obviously, Chuck knows that stuff, along with what movies I like and how I react to them. You were _insulting_ him."

"And you weren't? _Life-changing kiss_," he reminded her. "Isn't that kind of an insult too?" He decided not to think too hard about how that was probably more of an insult to himself than to Chuck.

She scoffed. "_No_. That's called a _chal-lenge_," she spoke slow as if to a child.

He looked irritated.

"It's something I _did_, not something I _am_. Chuck knows me better than anyone, and all of that stuff you spat at him—"

"I did not _spit_ anything at him," he interrupted.

She continued as if she hadn't heard him. "—he knew before we ever _considered_ ourselves more than friends or even _acquaintances_. You overstepped your bounds."

She turned away and started heading towards his bedroom.

His eyes followed her and his voice lost itself in its inability to receive signals from his brain. Only once did it successfully produce sounds.

"Where are you going?"

"Your room."

"_Why_?"

She turned around right before she went past the open door. "Chuck's still outside. I can't give him even the slightest clue that I'm here. There's a such thing as going _too_ far." She looked him up and down and then shot him an evil little smile. "I'm sure you know."

The door slammed and he didn't even know why, but he made his way over to the window where Chuck was indeed outside, leaning against his limo. Dan turned to look at his shut bedroom door. Blair had made it clear that the kiss had meant nothing and then they'd just continued being "friends", albeit still secretly. When Chuck had shown up at his front door, Blair had fled to his bedroom where she had clearly been eavesdropping. He wondered what she'd say if he told her he was fighting feelings for her. That it was that which had caused him to come across bitterly towards Chuck.

She would laugh. He nodded once and hung his head. Because, she was still in love with Chuck – and _always would be_. And because he was Dan Humphrey – Brooklynite, brother to Jenny Humphrey and the on-again-off-again boyfriend to her best friend, also the stepbrother too.

He headed for the kitchen and grabbed the orange juice out of the refrigerator. He would need a good dose of vitamin D before he approached the brunette occupying his thoughts in his _bedroom_.

….

A/N: Sorry, it's been almost two weeks. The thing is, I've been writing more for my multi-chaps lately (which you all should be psyched about) than little spazzes for those 100-word-daily-challenges I do. Also, I still haven't gotten around to watching 4x19 because I just completely forgot about watching it on Monday since I was on my Easter break, but I'm sure it'll get done soon. Anyways, because of how sporadic writing these blips is, I'm going to put a poll up on my profile as to how often I should post these "chapters". I was considering every Tuesday after a new episode, but there are only 3 left until summer, so…well, just go vote. Here are my inspirations for these drabblets:

**#1 – morning after CB getting engaged & Chuck is desperate to see Blair & just have fluff moments with her. (no real inspiration here. It just came to me.)**

**#2 – another one that just came to me; Chuck pulling on Blair's pigtails when they're kids**

**#3 – inspired from spoiler that says CB will end the season on good terms with each other. They'll have one last amazing night together and then supposedly "go their separate ways". Also, the synopsis for 4x21 when it says Blair is being torn between the men in her life again. In addition, I was listening/watching my CB vid for "The Last Dance". So, that might have been part of it.**

**#4 – Nate/Raina scene based of what I saw in the 4x20 promos & preview & CN sneak peek. Lol.**

**#5 – This is based off when I just saw the DC 4x18 scene as a sneak peek & I imagined Blair actually just hiding in his room or something & then scolding him for how he came off. Obviously her mind set was WAY different in the actual episode, which I HATED. But anyways, that's what it was. **


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hope you enjoy. Descriptions of inspirations at the end.

….

"Are you _serious_, Blair? _Really_?"

She bit her bottom lip and watched nervously as he walked across the room, his hands turning into fists and clenching until the skin was white.

He stopped halfway across the room. "You like me," he said, his body pivoting back toward hers when he came to a standstill. "I didn't get that part wrong, did I?"

"No," she said. "I like you."

"Because, if you were just taking pity on me, I'd like to know right about now."

"_Dan_."

He didn't say anything, just waited. The silence lingered, and he looked away again, scoffing. He crossed his across his chest. His jaw clenched.

She could feel the tension in him. The atmosphere was thick and it was strangling her. It was not the intoxicating kind she felt whenever she was in a room with Chuck. This was stifling and it was eating both of them alive.

"I don't take pity on anyone," she finally said, standing to her feet.

He looked back at her again.

"Especially when it comes to this type of thing. I never go out with guys because I pity them. Sometimes I pity myself or I'm in denial and that's why I hook up with guys – which is not the case with you," she said quickly, hoping to lessen his suddenly alarmed expression, "I never date for charity though. That's just absurd."

He sighed and nodded once. Then he turned completely around.

"So, what then? Why are you hesitating?"

She opened her mouth to speak but no words would come out. Not even a squeak got past her lips. She looked at him helplessly.

"It always comes back to him, doesn't it?"

Her eyes drowned in sympathy for him.

He hated it. The frustration building up inside him made him start to turn away again, but she grabbed his arm and stopped him. Still, he slipped out, refusing to face her.

"Dan, please…" She sighed.

"I thought he wasn't enough for you," he said. "Too immature."

"He isn't," she said defensively. "I mean, he is." She sighed again. "_He's not_ to the first, _he is_ to the second." She grumbled inwardly at her incapability to come across as coherent.

Dan let himself make eye contact with her again. "Then what? Last I checked, you had broken your engagement off with Louis – six months ago – and become interested in me about three months later. Everything has been going fine. I don't think it's unusual that I toss in hints of an engagement every now and then when you had known Louis for less than a month and told _him_ yes."

She looked helpless, but also irritated.

"Chuck and I…" she tried, nearly grating her teeth against each other.

"Have history. Have a connection. He was your first great love. I know, I know, I know," he grumbled, forcing himself not to walk away again. He ran his hand down his face and blew out a puff of air.

"Do I even have a chance?" he asked almost sarcastically. "Or is there always going to be a part of you that I can't tap into because only he has access."

"No." She shook her head sadly.

And he didn't know what she was responding to, wondered if _she_ even knew what she was saying. Maybe she was giving up on denial, but that didn't mean she was making any more sense than she had before. He was growing sick of trying to interpret her actions and words. Fate threw in his face the dreadful words that had been so easy to ignore at the beginning when she'd finally wanted him: _Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck_.

"I do like you," she whispered. "I like you a lot." She looked up at him, her eyes shimmering with desperation.

"He's got a hold on you, Blair," he said softly, "And I think you know as well as I do that unless it's him you end up with, you'll never truly be satisfied."

Her lips parted and her jaw dropped.

"Goodbye, Blair."

He brushed past her and then he was gone.

She let him leave and closed her eyes when she felt the new presence slowly approaching from the hallway. She knew who it was and she knew how little he was wearing. She knew he shouldn't have spent the night in her room and he shouldn't have done with her what they did to each other, because it made her the one thing she'd always been so adamant on not being.

"Is he gone?" the husky voice asked from the hallway. Even when he was completely serious he sounded sexy.

"We were on a break," she said aloud, as if she hadn't even heard him. "We fought and we broke up and he left."

He closed the distance between them and placed his hands gently on her shoulders.

She turned around in his arms. Her lip trembled.

"Then he came here this morning and told me it was over because of you."

She didn't look upset or angry or even particularly remorseful. She was just being honest.

"You weren't cheating, Blair, so you have nothing to worry about."

"I _was_ cheating, Chuck. I mean, maybe it wasn't that clear that we weren't together, and I did like him, I do…I…"

Her words became muffled when he pulled her against his chest.

"It feels like I cheated," she said quietly after a long silence had ensued. Guilt was beating inside her fiercely, but his fingers playing in her hair soothed some of the raging fire. The kiss he pressed to her forehead sent more douses of calm over her in waves.

"But you didn't," he told her, "and I love you."

She lifted her head and looked at him, tears shining in her eyes and a million emotions on her face, most of which she could not name.

"I…I love you too, Chuck." She closed her eyes tightly as if in pain.

He pulled her head to his chest again and continued stroking her hair.

"I just wish I hadn't given up on us this last time…then I might not have broken his heart." She sighed shakily. "Who knew I'd feel bad over something I did to Humphrey?" she almost chuckled.

He smiled softly against her. "We all have our weaknesses."

Her arms encircled his neck and she lifted her head to peck him softly on the lips. "I think mine's yours, Bass. People who are meant to be together always find their way back."

He leaned down again and kissed her.

…

"Tell me, Chuck, what did you hope to accomplish in coming here?"

"Well, I was guessing you were feeling a little…" he paused, glancing at the light silky blanket covering her bed. He looked back up at her, well aware just where his thoughts lay, "deprived."

She raised an eyebrow. "Deprived?" she asked, doubtfully.

"Mmm." He slowly walked towards her, stopping a heartbeat away. Then he looked her over, resting his eyes finally on her glistening ruby lips. "You're not with Nate or more importantly, you're not with me. That means you're deprived." He was pleased to see that the most delicious of pouts was on her lips. He wanted to nibble away the gloss and taste the wetness of her tongue in the depths of his mouth.

Her face cleared and she lifted her chin to look up proudly at him, confident in herself and whatever it was she thought she knew. She smiled her evil little knowing smile and tilted her head ever so slightly to the side.

"Only until you get over me, Chuck." She patted him lightly on the shoulder. "I'm sure it won't take that long." She pushed past him and moved across the room. "You've stuck your dick in more than enough sluts over the last couple months to forget my post-virginal, hardly experienced sexual skills."

He stared after her and shook his head, a scoff slipping out before he could stop it. There wasn't any way he'd lay his heart out for her to stomp on it, but he did want her to feel the same. He wanted it so badly he'd risk his life to make her feel the same way, and he wouldn't let her get away – not completely. All she needed was enough time to make her give up and see that he was the right one for her, the _best_ one, _much_ better than _Nate_.

"Don't hold your breath."

She turned around and leaned against the kitchen counter. She scrutinized his every feature. "Don't tell me Chuck Bass actually has a heart."

He managed to keep his jaw from clenching and instead smirked. "What makes you think I have one?" He crossed the room and stopped a breath away, leaning towards her. He took sheer pleasure in the fact that she didn't retract her head from its nearness immediately as his head closed their distance further. "Maybe I just like seeing you squirm," he whispered, hot against her.

"You're disgusting," she spat. Her arms were trapped between his body and the hard surface behind her. Actual spit accidentally came out of her mouth in her venom and she stared at his lips a little too long where the spit droplet had landed. She felt tingles as his smirk spread into a smile.

"You _like_ it."*

The hesitation lasted about a fraction of a second before their lips touched. He possessed hers so passionately slow that she moaned. Her arms went around her neck and he started kissing her faster, slipping his tongue in her mouth and growling when her hands clawed at his scalp. His fingers dug into her hips, as he started to lift the fabric away from her skin.

Just as she started grinding against and he was growling against her neck, slipping his hand beneath her shirt and up her back, voices were heard coming from the sitting room into the kitchen. Blair gasped and pushed him away. She straightened herself quickly, making the best she could without a mirror, and slipped out of the kitchen. However, she did not shoot him a glare on the way out.

That fact was very comforting and it made him smirk as Kati and Is retrieved a few sodas and made their way back to where they'd come.

….

A/N: Sorry there are only 2, but they're relatively long, so I think that makes up for it. I took the poll & though it's even I think I am going to hold out until I have 5 every time. Heh. There were actually 3 here, but the 3rd one had reached oneshot potential, so as soon as that's beta'd it'll be up. Comment if you wish!

**#1 – based off spoilers that DB get together next season after Louis leaves, but inevitably Blair can't make much of a commitment b/c deep down she wants Chuck – she **_**belongs**_** with him. 3 Btw, I write DB as a couple HORRIBLY. I think I may have to see them onscreen to write them properly like that since I've really only experienced friendship/frenemy-status for them. Heh. They just don't make sense to me. XD**

**#2 – a scene in 1x12 where Chuck seduces Blair at the "study party" before Nate confronts her with the love letter. ;p **


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Some more!

…

"What are you doing tonight, Nathaniel, because I have an idea that I think you'd be incredibly intrigued by." He smirked, but to his surprise Nate was practically glowing and he guessed it wasn't over the underage drinking and barhopping he was about to suggest.

"I'm busy, man. I've got a date."

Chuck raised his eyebrows. "Yeah? Who with?"

"Blair Waldorf." He beamed.

Something between a blush and a sheet of white ghost color slammed onto Chuck's face. He was shocked by what his best friend had just said. Somehow he'd just never imagined Blair Waldorf with his dork of a best friend. He could see the eventual heartthrob in Nate, but Blair seemed so above him. He couldn't imagine how in the world he'd managed to snag her for a date.

"That's great, man." He squeezed his shoulder a little too tightly. It was the first time he felt that little green monster.

….

There was a knock on the door. Even the dainty sound of a female clearing her throat set off warning bells. He knew exactly who that was. He could sense her no matter how many of his senses were blinded to the outside world. Blair Waldorf was on the other side of his door, and she had come to play. Problem was he already had two hotel maids draped around him on the tousled bed, the tangled sheets entwining them. The girls had managed to maintain most of their clothing but that didn't stop the fact that they were there and Blair would see them.

He shouldn't have been concerned, but he was. He and Blair weren't anything official technically, but he was quickly becoming addicted to her and he didn't want to do anything to send her running, even something that was commonly acceptable in the general vicinity of Chuck Bass.

"Room service," she said in a sing-song voice.

He inwardly groaned. _Role-play. This was not going to end well._

There was a knock on the door – another one. Carefully, he unwound himself from the two sleeping girls on either side of them. He would have given them each a rude awakening, but he knew they would react with some sort of loud shriek or grumble and he could not afford that. He kept trying to remind himself that Chuck Bass was Chuck Bass and he didn't change for anything or anybody, but he wanted Blair Waldorf inside his hotel room and he guessed it was not going to happen easily if those hotel whores were wound up in his sheets.

Unfortunately he had no other choice. The only way in or out of his suite was through the door that Blair was standing on the other side of. He slid into his silk red robe and crossed the room, straightening himself further when he was directly in front of the door. He looked into the peephole and groaned inwardly at how delectable the petite brunette on the other side looked. Briefly he turned back to look at the maids on his bed and cursed the day he was born – but only briefly. He had managed to bed Blair Waldorf a few times already, and every time it had been pure heaven. His libido had been in overdrive, and he sensed that the reason she kept coming back to him was that he'd pushed hers to that place as well.

He opened the door in one swift move, knowing that if he opened cautiously and carefully that she would sense immediately something was up and look straight to the burdens in his bed. This endeavor did not do him much good however. Her gaze was only diverted for about five seconds longer than usual before his casual, confident, cocky demeanor proved overkill and her face went from an embarrassed pout to narrowed, agitated eyes.

"Are you _busy_?" she asked, seething if he was not mistaken.

He looked her up and down and smirked. "There's always room for one more."

She scoffed and started to walk away.

Briefly, he stood his ground, letting her walk away. His pride diminished very quickly though at the sight of her walking away from him. The feeling was unlike any he'd ever felt before. He knew he had to have her – and before she made it to the elevators too.

Quickly, he turned around and hurled some rolled up towels at the maids in his bed. They groaned, as he'd known they would, but the deadly tone of his voice got them moving fast enough.

"Out. Now."

Their eyes still half closed and their skirts a little rumpled, the two girls made their way across the room and out the door.

"And make an excuse to get that brunette by the elevators over here!" he called after them.

One of the girls tossed a confused look over her shoulder, but he ignored it. He was already anxious to see Blair Waldorf's face again. He could almost feel her luscious curves beneath his fingertips.

"I don't know why I'm doing this—"

Her voice was music to his ears. The muttering annoyance clear in the sound made his heart flutter because somehow the demand he'd made to the maids had been fulfilled. The brunette before him also tended to get incredibly feisty when angry, and annoyance was one degree closer to anger than pure neutral or even kinky was.

"Your whores said you needed me for something?" she huffed, placing a hand on her hip.

He smirked, slow and steady, now very sure of himself. "Since when do you take orders from hotel maids? You could have kept walking easily."

She blinked, looking caught in headlights she could not back out of. She contemplated for about half a second mentioning to him that the real maids had made fun of her little 'room service/maid' get-up and that the only thing worse than actual jealousy over these maids regarding their rendezvous with Chuck was being _insulted_ by the lower class who actually made their living by cleaning other people's belongings – and sleeping around, clearly.

She decided against it, the thought dissipating from her mind as she realized he was undressing her with his eyes. She felt hot and bothered all over again. Finally, she cleared her throat to get his attention.

"Well?"

He moved back and gestured for her to enter his room. Reluctantly, she went inside.

…

It was ridiculous how much she suddenly hated blonde hair. In magazines, on book covers, dressing wigs of all shapes and sizes – all of it was blonde and she hated it. _What the hell was wrong with brown hair? _For so long she'd stood by her own hair color of silky, smooth brown, while secretly longing to have the talent to pull off blonde hair, without the hassle of trying to convince people that she was not copying her best friend or trying to match her boyfriend. Waldorfs did not fit into the niche culture provided when it came to stereotypes. Waldorfs were unique while simultaneously gaining all the power. Blair was proud to call herself a Waldorf, and now detested any hair color the opposite or even slightly different from her own.

She sat, watching people in the bar pass her by, shooting flaming glares at the blonde twigs who didn't even notice. She was hardly aware of Chuck's presence on the bar stool beside her until he interrupted her comfort zone. Irritated, she looked up at him and his amused grin.

"_What_?"

She did not snap at him she'd tell herself later.

He blinked once, the fake innocence he almost always used as a veil covering up most of the amusement that remained firmly intact.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, turning back towards the crowd and returning to the people-watching hobby she'd just acquired.

"Thank God you're not a blonde," she seemed to say to the world on a heaving sigh.

Chuck raised his eyebrows but said nothing. He motioned to the bartender behind them to bring over some drinks.

….

It took just a touch, just like those commercials had said it would. It wasn't as if she had been anticipating it all night, wondering if she could test out her little experiment, but she had been curious to see if that was all it would take. It was ridiculous really, since their frequent sexual acts tended to be sparked by merely thinking of each other, a sultry look from across the room, an unexpected, possibly overdramatic gasp. Just one of those, amongst many, and he'd have her pinned to the wall or fallen off the couch and ripping at her clothing like it was the one thing blocking him from the breath of life.

She hardly had to _ask_ for sex, so it didn't make any sense that the _Cialis_ commercial was suddenly engrained in her head. Normally all she'd get was a mere chuckle out of it, because even in his eighties Chuck couldn't possibly need any pill or stimulant to get him going. Some people might say that since he was so sexually active in his youth that karma would surely pay him back for it when he got old and gray. Blair begged to differ however. Thus, it made even less sense that she was challenging their past signs to see if a mere "simple touch" (as advertised by the commercial) could spark a flame that would change a normal moment into a very, very hot one very, very quickly.

Perhaps in hindsight she should have chosen a more subtle touch than sliding her fingers along the envelope containing spam that he was about to throw in the trash. It was too obvious and he would sense it, but he would also ask about it later. When the back of her forefinger touched his thumb his eyes had flashed to hers. When she looked up at him a second later his eyes were filled with heat. She got chills just knowing how hot he was for her, almost as if he'd been biding his time, waiting for her to give him the signal to pounce.

She could barely breathe, and it seemed he knew she couldn't move either. Their tightened hold on the insignificant piece of mail just heightened the sexual tension sizzling between them sent it flinging into the air in the opposite direction when he pulled her around the counter faster than quicksand and possessed her mouth with the need of a man losing touch with reality and fighting for his breath.

The passionate onslaught was almost more than she could bear. She fought to stay standing, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck and grateful for the fiercely snug hold he held on her as he crushed her to his chest. Soon his hand was down on her buttocks, squeezing hard. She growled into his mouth following her initial loud moans. He grunted roughly against her skin as he tore his mouth away to nibble down her neck and bite softly on the skin leading to her shoulder. Of their own accord, both of their hands started ripping at each other's clothing. Blair wanted to say something dirty, or just to thank him for being so god-damned sexual, but he beat her to it.

"I missed you today." He growled again, pulling her somehow closer.

Her moan turned into an almost whimper. "Take me now," she whispered, gaining back her strength and pushing at him as she got herself off the side of the counter. Still they were intertwined and she could tell her words alone and her fierce physical reaction to him had set him on fire. His erection was hard and upright against her thigh, almost as a lever to sit on were she to lean any closer.

His nails dug into the still far too much clothing covering her top half. He pulled her to him again and stuck his hand into her panties, searching for that sensitive nubbin that was now drenched in her liquid arousal.

"_Chuck_," she whimpered.

He nearly fell over as he pushed them onto the couch.

"I hate pants," he mumbled, realizing he had even more clothes on than she did. He stood to his feet to release himself of them and she did the same of herself.

Then she lied back down and smiled up at him. Surprisingly, he paused and looked at her with humored confusion on her face.

"What?"

She shook her head. "Nothing." She pulled him down to her by his wrist and then slipped his condom into place, causing another guttural growl to flow out of him. "I am just now fully assured you will never need _Cialis_."

He was torn between amusement and confusion still, but his libido was in overdrive now and his gorgeous wife was damp and ready, heated beneath him. He didn't have the energy to hold back anymore, so he just chuckled, and then he kissed her – hard and hot and heavy.

"Damn, woman, I could have told you that."

She smiled against him and let him take her. She screamed into the warm afternoon light, an exultant groaning cry emanating from him shortly after.

…

"We were just kids, weren't we?" She shook her head thoughtfully. "All that talk about eternal love and never leaving each other's side…" she paused, dwelling on the past. "Not that it wasn't real or anything. It just sounds very _extreme_ and almost ridiculous now, doesn't it?"

He was not going to break – not in front of her and not with anyone watching. He had risen above all of that. After all, it had been his decision to let her go and give her the happiness she deserved. The string of relationships and heartbreaks that came after that had driven them so far apart at times he thought he'd never get her back. Even now he didn't really have her, not even in the friendship state. She had just come to see him when his profits had started to rise again after their downfall in the previous years. He'd been thrilled to see her standing in his doorway, looking at him cheerfully as if nothing had changed. Maybe it was the denial in him – or just the fact that he didn't want to hurt anymore – but he just felt that sometimes it was best to start out that way. Confessions could be made later on into the night when they were too drunk to think straight but he'd always somehow manage to remember everything she'd said involving him or a relationship she was partaking in by way of romance and soul-searching. Even after all these years when he'd finally let her go, had stopped fighting for her the way he used to despite the fact that it was _their_ baby that inevitably broke things off with Louis. The miscarriage had completely broken her and Chuck had wanted to beat Louis to a pulp for not being more sympathetic, cheating be damned. It was Blair, and she was hurting, probably in more pain than she'd been in during her entire life. He hated himself for it, but Chuck was glad when Louis ended things. After what had happened, it turned out the damned prince didn't deserve her after all. She deserved better than that, though it seemed she still hadn't found whatever "that" was. It certainly hadn't been Humphrey – _thank God_.

And as much as he sought her happiness and for her fairy tale to finally come true, she was tossing aside their past as if it was child's play, close to the importance of a particular headband she'd demanded for a special occasion or the first day of school – extremely important then but hardly significant now. That certainly wasn't the case with _him_. His relationship with Blair had been – and still was – the most important thing to him. It gave his life meaning, even just the memories, and her tossing all of that away just because it had mostly happened about five years prior made him want to throw some daggers at a wounded puppy. He knew Blair would both cry and be horrified at that image though, so he quickly discarded it for something more civil – him overdosing on alcohol and pills.

"Not exactly," he managed.

She seemed to not have heard him, sighing dreamily mid-speech. "I miss it sometimes, you know?" She looked across at him. "Being so young and…_dramatic_." A tiny smile graced her face.

He felt his heart skip a beat. So, she was being a little bipolar. She still hadn't voiced that they were a mistake – like she'd done so many times in the past when she'd been "immature". That was hopeful, though taking the whole of the conversation into consideration, he was not entirely pleased with where the subject had turned.

"What about you?" she asked. "Do you miss it?"

He felt himself grow hot. _Did he miss it?_ _What an understatement._

"What?" he asked, going for nonchalant and uninterested.

Her eyes narrowed. "Have you been listening at _all_?"

He raised his brows in amusement. "Quite." He knew he'd gotten her irritated, but it was all he could do to keep his bitterness from showing through. How could she not see what was still between them? The electricity between them was like fire, burning the space around them. The lightning was bound to strike eventually, but it was obvious Blair was trying to avoid that particular outcome. She was doing everything possible to direct the feeling toward memories, not present time.

His bit her bottom lip hard in the interior of her mouth and forced herself to remain calm. When she believed she'd recovered well enough, she looked up at him and smiled her best polite smile, hoping that over all these years he didn't know her as well as he used to claim. People change after all.

"I should be going," she said, clutching the purse in her hands so tightly her fingernails started to make creases.

He made no comment to the state of her purse. "No, you shouldn't," he said, standing to his feet a moment after she had. She hadn't moved a muscle, and was now even more reluctant to go anywhere. "You should stay right where you are, so we can pick up where we left off."

"Chuck…" Her lips parted, her heart beating a million miles a second. She couldn't believe how anticipatory she was for a kiss from him. One minute ago she was avoiding their chemistry again like the plague, the next she was hoping he'd deny her so they could maybe try again. It startled her that all her defenses didn't immediately go up at the mere suggestion.

"Please." He gestured towards the wicker chair she'd been sitting in. "I want to hear more of what you've been up to?"

Her face fell, but she'd already sat down and it would be too ridiculous to repeat the up-down motion. So, she nodded once and continued the tale she'd half forgotten already.

Inside he smirked secretively. He'd caught her off-guard and he'd been given his answer. Blair Waldorf wasn't over him either, and she wasn't going home tonight.

….

A/N: Sorry! Sorry! Sorry it's taken so long! But my schedule has exploded…*regretful sigh* Anyways, hope you review. These are my inspirations:

**#1 – Pretty self-explanatory. Nate informing Chuck of his first date ever with Blair, and Chuck being just a little bit jealous. Hehe.**

**#2 – During their secret affair in season 1. Blair shows up unexpectedly for a rendezvous and Chuck is in a bit of a bind, but he can't help but want her. ;)**

**#3 – either early on in the pilot or pre-series. I honestly can't remember at this point. Lol.**

**#4 – Yes…randomly I saw a Cialis commercial and thought of Chuck & Blair, as odd as that is. So, it's just a little shpeel off of that. Lol.**

**#5 – I was just thinking of that scene from **_**The Notebook**_** where Noah & Allie are catching up on the front porch when she comes to "check on him". lol. It's years later, not necessarily taking into account stuff from the tail end of season 4, just that things went wrong officially at one point and they just never worked things out. They moved on & then she just came to visit him sporadically. Heheh.**


End file.
